Large Spider’s Revenge


Remember Large Spider from the other day?  The one I was traumatized into brutally murdering?  Well, Large Spider’s daddy came looking for me today…

A day or so after the incident with the Phantom Demon Spider, I found the crumpled corpse of a smallish black spider of the approximate size of the one that was haunting my desk, on the floor by my desk chair.  I hardly dared to hope that these are the remains of said spider—though it would be a logical assumption, given the size, coloring, and location—so the Phantom Demon Spider may still be lurking in my desk somewhere.  Just to be safe, I left the desecrated corpse of the smallish black spider where it was, as a warning to future spiders who dared to venture into these waters, and had no further incidents.

Until tonight.

After a 14-hour work day, I was finally settling into my room to have some dinner and chill for the evening, when there it was.  And it put Large Spider to shame.  I can only assume that said Large Spider was in fact only an adolescent spider and after he’d been missing for an inordinately long time for a rebellious kid, Daddy Spider became concerned and went in search of his wayward son.  (Carry on…)  Upon finding the crumpled corpse of the Phantom Demon Spider (do I dare hope it is, in fact, the one?) he sent to find his son and talk some sense into him, he became enraged and came after me, assuming—and wrongly so—that I was responsible for small black spider’s demise.  If I was involved, it was not a conscious choice, so cannot be held responsible for the atrocious act.

In any case, I now had an outraged and frantic Daddy Spider skittering across my bedroom floor.  He was too scary to capture as per my usual method (on top of which, I tried several times to drop a cup over him and he evaded me) and too big to even attempt to kill (I did not want him coming after me if I failed), so I went with my only other option.  I opened wide my bedroom door and threw things at him until I had herded him out into the hall.  I then found my shoes—inspected them thoroughly for Daddy Spider’s backup; they were clean—and put them on before stepping gingerly around Daddy Spider in my hallway and went to find a broom.

It was a complicated process, but—working around Daddy Spider, who was still skittering around the hall—I got my back door open and the floodlights on, then propped open the glass door (since the metal proper thingy doesn’t work) with a 10 lb weight, as usual, and then guided him around the hall until I managed to persuade him out the door.  He didn’t make it very far out the door, but he was out, when I gathered up the weight and closed the doors again.  He must’ve come in under the back door because it has too much of a gap (I’m assuming this is how most of Nature gets in), so he could return at any moment.  I’ve turned out all the lights in hopes that he either gets lost or thinks I’m not home…

Unfortunately, this is only a temporary solution.

I think it’s time to move.



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